Life Partner

Not Just CP, but in the recent time, I have been seeing many parents say, I "would readily agree" with my son/daughter, choosing life partner of their choice irrespective of religion/caste/language/financial status/etc.

I still see lots of parental egoism in this.

Fundamentally, parents still want their kids' marriage partner "need to be approved" through them and then they would "allow" them for marriage. In the name of "responsibility" (and "emotional blackmail"), parents would want to hold the approval process with them tight.

My view here is, mentor the kids to choose the life partner before marriage. Once mentored, parents need not even know who is their life partner. It is up to the kids and its their life. Intervening in kid's marriage itself is a crime is my opinion. When I say this, Viji's comment, உனக்கு பாசமே இல்ல..! May be she is yet to understand the depth of my thoughts.

Having said that, kid's expecting parents to choose the life partner is a double crime and those kids are not fit to lead marriage life. தன் வாழ்க்கை துணையை, தானே தேட தெரியாதவ(ன்)ள், திருமணத்துக்கு இன்னும் தயாராகவில்லையென்றே பொருள். தன் குழந்தையின் வாழ்க்கை துணையை, நான்தான், தேர்தெடுப்பேன் - எனும் பெற்றோர்கள், தன் குழந்தையை, இன்னும் இல்லறத்திற்கு தயாராக்கவில்லை என்றே பொருள். Or தன் வாழ்க்கை துணையை, தானே தேட தெரியாதவ(ன்)ள், திருமணத்துக்கு இன்னும் தயாராகவில்லையென்றே பொருள்.

One might ask, how about the "successful" families selected ("arranged") by parents ? My only answer to such question is, it is the difference between "using GPS navigation" vs "logical direction based self navigation" . GPS guided navigation is faster, but whole navigation fails, if the GPS (machine) fails.

Good question. I would mentor a kid as below (might appear stupid, but I see a merit),

Nobody is bad in this world. All are good by birth. The cultural/behavioral differences comes because of the way people were brought up and the circumstances. And that is dynamic, changes over time. Everyone trouble-shootable. If you select a drug addict he/she need not be drug addict for ever. If you select a "most ideal" boy/girl, he/she need not be ideal of ever. He/she could become crooked in future. Every human is a mirror of your own-self, hence your partner.

Hence, instead of current instant behavioral analysis, understand the principles of how to be good complementing mirror. Your partner is always with you.

இதையெல்லாம் சொன்னால், "இவனென்ன, பொண்ண பெத்த மாதிரியா பேசறான்னு " என்று சொல்லி, நான் சொல்வதின் ஆழத்தை புரிய மறுக்கிறார்கள் (relatives)....  :-(