Vimala Balakrishnan
Dears,
- My Beloved Mother in Law, Mrs.Vimala Balakrishnan, Passed away on
12.11.2009 evening 8.15 pm at home in Coimbatore.
- Me, Eyal and Mallika reached Coimbatore on 13.11.2009, 11 am.
- 13.11.2009, 1.30 pm, she has been dissolved into air at Tiruppur.
- 14.11.2009, 11.30 am, Ash was dissolved in river at Perur.
- 18.11.2009, seventh day, rituals were completed.
Yesterday, I returned back to Mumbai; Eyal and Mallika will come here on next Sunday.
Everything was like a dream for past ten days. Ellaame Kanavil Nadappathu polathaan Irunthathu.
She was married to Balakrishnan at the age of 16; First daughter Latha at her age of 19; second daughter Mallika at her age of 22. When Balakrishnan passed away during 1983, she was 29; Latha is at 10 years and Mallika is seven years. She alone, without the help of relatives, with great difficulties, through lots of hurdles she has grown up Latha and Mallika, their education; their marriage (she doesn't know the outside practical world before Balakrishnan's loss).
I understand how much she would have struggled.
"Oppatra Thyaagamum, Ayaraatha Uzhippum Niraintha Oru Anbaana Athma Vidai Petru Kondathau"
"Intha Ulagil Ovvoru Thaayin Maranamum Eedu Seyya Mudiyaatha Izhapputhan"
Dears, I want to write about my MIL how much ever possible and how much ever I can; Otherwise my mind will take long time to settle down I think. "Adikkadi pinnokki thirumbi asai pottu pongi pongi ganathu pogum manathai, ezhuthi ezhuthithan sama nilakku kondu vara mudiyum polirukkirathu". After my parents, uncle's (mother's brother) shocking deaths, once again DEATH has shown me its shocking truth. "Maranam Mathuram" endru Bhaja Govindathil varum; to attain that attitude, antha thelivu varuvatharku innum evvalavu kaalam pidukkumo. If it happens before my death, I will be thankful to God.
- Vimala Balu - 1 - Saamy*
My Mother in Law use to call Eyal and Janani (Mallika's elder sister Latha's daughter - she is 12 years now) as "Saamy" only. Like "Yeanchamy yeatti kaavala?" (She will talk to Eyal in Telugu). I like this very much. 'kuzhandhaigalai saamy endru kooppiduvatharku oruvitha mana muthirchy vendum'. Mallika also call Janani 'Saamy' only. Later I found in Lakshmi Mills, in some houses even elder people also called as 'Saamy' only, as love and affection more... My MIL was so close to Grand Daughters; they will not call her 'paatty' or 'avva' - they will call her by name 'Vimala' only. Conversations between me and my MIL was very less; she speaks less to me.
But she knows about me 99% (through Mallika). The dresses which I am having now is all purchased and given to me by her only (I have never gone to a showroom to purchase dress for me; before marriage my mother Chandra use to purchase; after marriage my In Law and Mallika use to do that).
She knows my tastes. She was working in Primary Health Center (PHC) in Mangalam (12 kms from Palladam); but there is no bus from Palladam; she use to travel daily from Lakshmi Mills to Tiruppur (30 mnts), then Tiruppur to Mangalam (35 mnts). She leaves home by 7 am and reaches back home by 6.45 pm. Whenever we go to Lakshmi Mills, with great difficulty (to convince her superior) she use to take some leave to take care of us.
During Mallika's delivery time (at Tiruppur in hospital), oneday evening she brought Mushroom Puffs. I just told her it was nice after eating. From then onwards, whenever we go to home, when she returns from work, from Tirupur bus stand she walks long to that particular bakery to buy Mushroom Puffs for me and bring to home in the evening.
"Ondru Maatri Ondru Ninaivugal Muhizhthuk konde Irukkinrana; korvaiyai ezhutha Mudiyavillai"
Hai,
- Vimala Balu - 2 - Last Message*
Last May summer holidays we had gone to Lakshmi Mills. That time, the disease symptoms were in initial stages - she was having acute pain in legs, dry caugh, unable to walk even to bus stand.She had gone to two to three doctors; nobody diognised the disease properly; she was taking caugh syrup, pain killers, calcium tablets (as per Dr's prescription). Oneday around 11 am... Latha was cooking in kitchen; Eyal and Janani were playing outside; Mallika had gone for bath; I was lying on the floor watching TV. My MIL came and told me that she wants to talk to me; I put mute for the TV and sat down. Suddenly her eyes filled with tears and she said, "Please take care of Latha and Janani; I am afraid of my health; I am feeling that anything can happen". I said, "Don't worry. Nothing is serious about your health. Me and Mallika will take care of Latha and Janani". Mallika's elder sister Latha had got divorce from her husband (she was not liking his behaviour) within a year of her marriage; that time onwards she and her daughter Janani is with my MIL. Since Latha is having VSD (Ventricular Septem Defect) in heart from birth she has not continued her schooling after 7th STD. So my MIL's biggest worry is, if something happen to her who will take care of Latha and Janani. I assured her, Janani also I will take care as daughter only. Yes, I am having two daughters now. I hope and pray, till my death I will not leave Latha and Janani alone. Let God's light guide me.
- Vimala Balu - 3 - Friend*
Latha and Me are introverts; we talk less; we won't open our mind as easily. My MIL and Mallika are exactly opposite. They will share/talk about everything. When Mallika married to me, first one year was very tough time for her; nobody is there to speak freely in my home; that time I was not understanding her situation. Now I realise. During our stay in Lakshmi Mills or whenever Mallika phones - her mother will talk about A to Z - what happened in working place, about patients, about doctors - everything. Mallika also do the same - talk about climate here, her purchases, about Eyal, Eyal's school, my Office... During our holidays in Lakshmi Mills, everyday after dinner - Latha, Mallika and my MIL - their meeting and chat will start sitting outside the house or in kitchen. Me, Eyal and Janani will go to bed. In middle of my sleep, if I woke up, I use to see still they were talking. I use to kid Mallika, "Appadi ennathaan pesuvingalo rathiri poora". Other than Mother, she was a best friend to Mallika and Latha. When Janani was born, she felt bit because of female child (Previous generation feelings; we can't easily change that). She use to tell Mallika, when Mallika was carrying, only boy child will born. With smile I use to tell I need only girl child. When Eyal was born, I understand her feelings. She had no sons and her daughters also had girls. I was bit worrying about what she will tell when Me and Mallika were planning for Family Planning Operation for Mallika after Eyal's birth. She never told anything; she understood I am doing for Mallika's health. She wants to grow Mallika as a boy child; she wants Mallika to study as much she can (since Latha not completed her schooling) and go for job. I think there was no proper person that time to guide her/them. After Mallika finishes her D.Pharm, she told almost all persons (Doctors and Health Inspectors in her hospital) and whoever she met to get a job for Mallika. When a Health Inspector came next day after her death (he was been transferred from Mangalam to another hospital before a year), he was telling, "Avanga sollaatha doctor kidayathu - eppadiyachum enga Mallikavukku oru vela vaangi kudunga sir - "; my eyes were filled with tears. Oru Thaayin Aasaigal...Oru Thaayin Thavippugal...Amma! where are you?...
- Vimala Balu - 4 - Mangalam PHC*
I never gone to Mangalam Primary Health Center where my MIL worked before her death. This time after third day, I had gone there with Mallika by two wheeler (about to rain climate; no sun, cloudy), to enquire about paper works and required documents. All through the way we were discussing about Janani and her schooling plan. Mallika was talking about her previous visits to hospital with her mother during her school holidays.
Mangalam PHC is not a big hospital; a single building with five or six rooms, a big hall and a verandah. No beds facility (Normal delivery of babies will be handled and they will send back within a day; if seasarian expected they will send to Tiruppur Govt Hospital). Mangalm is fully Muslims dominated town (Mallika was telling during festival time, nice and different types of Biriyani she use to taste it seems); textile related small small (due to Tiruppur) units are there. When we had gone there, everyone - health Inspectors, Pharmacist, staffs, Nurses - asking and consoling Mallika; they were telling about smiling face of my In Law, her friendly talk. Mallika was showing me, where she sits (her chair), where she do dressing for patients... Yamuna sister (my In Law's best friend in hospital) was keeping Mallika's hand in her palms and started weeping. We had called Senthil (LIC agent in Mangalam) to ask about my In Law's Post Office Account; he was not knowing my In Law passed away; when Mallika called him, he was on the other side telling "Sollungamma" (the mobile is my In law's; he thought my in Law is calling). HI sir told, - Don't worry about the paper works; just give Death Certificate and 'Vaarisu' Certificate copies and sign the applications - he will do the rest. "Thirumbi Vandiyil Varum pozhuthu, karunaiyum anbum niraintha oruvithamaana unarvu kalantha thathumbum positive manathodu Irunthen". Anbum, Karunaiyum, Paasamumai Manathu Aanal Azhugaiyai Thavira Veru Eppadi Velikkattuvathu?
- Vimala Balu - 5 - The Day 12.11.09*
On 12.11.09 - Thursday evening 7.20 pm all three Latha, Janani and my In Law had taken dinner and after that they were watching TV for some time; my In Law have taken little Lemon Rice and after that night time prescribed tablets and syrups; after sometime around 8.10 pm she got up from the cot and told something uneasy she was feeling to Latha; Latha has given some hot water; within five minutes she told Latha, bit of chest pain and started swetting.
Latha (she became tensed) maximised the fan speed and told Janani to be with her and gone to call taxi; one taxi driver is there in next house ( His name is Velu aged around 55 - he was very helpful to my In Law; Me and Mallika use to hire his taxi only, whenever we go to Lakshmi Mills). Immediately he also came to home and asked my In Law what's happening; she told "lesa thalai suthura mathiri irukku"; he told Latha he will start the vehicle and come. Mean time from backside house Pappayakka (my In Law's best friend) and opposite house Thulasi Akka also came. My in law's eye balls started moving upward. Latha almost ran towards main road to call Doctor ( he is not a Doctor; ususlly for urgency he use to put injection and give medicines for minor things).
My In law told Pappayakka, "Naan Irukka Mattenu ninikiren. Enga Lathavaiyum Jananiyaiyum Pathungakka" - Her last words... Before Latha comes, she collapsed. She has been kept lying in the hall. People started coming; Taxi Anna told Janani to call Mallika... In Pen, Mallika was searching an Embroidery design at bed room. Me and Eyal also were there. Lan line rang in hall; before I reached to hall the call stopped; next a call came to my mobile; Janani's voice came broken; I told her I will call from Lan line. When I called from Lan line, Thamba (next house) told the news; meanwhile Mallika came near me; I was unable to ask him anything; I just repeated Ok. When Mallika asked what happened, I just told her "Ammakku marupadiyum pain vandirukkumbola; she has been taken to hospital"; she started weeping. I told her not to worry; we will go tomorrow itself; I controlled myself because of Mallika and prayed no more phone calls should come. Silently I have given a message to my Manager to book the air tickets in immediate next flight to Cbe. He messaged back PNR No. and written 8 am is the flight and to collect the tickets at airport counter. 4.30 am we left the house on 13.11.09. Till reaching the home, Mallika doesn't know the news - It was very difficult; continuously she was having doubt and asking whether anything wrong. Veetukkul sendru Ammavin Pakkathil Irunthu Kadhariya Mallika...Kaalam Uraindha Nimishangal... "En Theivame ithu poi thookkamaa? Naan thoongave ini naalaagumaa? Aaraariro paadiyathaaro - Thoongi ponatharo...
Pozhuthaagip ponathe innum thookkama? Sollaamal ponathu thaaye niyayama? uyir thantha devikku uyirillayo? paalootti paarthiye paalootralaamo?
annam potta en thaaye - unakku arisi poda vanthen...enai naane nonthen"
-Vengadesh